


Sunflowers and The Pain That Comes With Them

by flowerstrawberryofearth



Category: A.C.E (Beat Interactive Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Best Friends, Bittersweet Ending, Diving head first into love, Hanahaki Disease, I'm lowkey sorry but also not but I'm still sorry, It's going to be sad and painful in the end for everyone involved, Junhee and Yuchan are the same age, M/M, Mild Language, Oblivious Yuchan, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suicide, Yikes it got dark lmao, everyones aged down, mentions of being drugged, once it goes downhill it never gets better
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-06-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:27:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22957897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flowerstrawberryofearth/pseuds/flowerstrawberryofearth
Summary: Junhee randomly starts coughing up sunflower petals after watching Yuchan's football game. He struggles to hide it from him but it's until he starts coughing up whole flowers that realizes that he can't go with him to prom anymore
Relationships: Kang Yuchan | Chan/Park Junhee | Jun
Comments: 27
Kudos: 65





	1. After The Game

**Author's Note:**

> The A.C.E hanahaki fic no one asked for but secretly wants lol  
> I hope to update this better than the others so please enjoy  
> feedback is always appreciated :)))))

If there as one thing anyone hoped to never get, it was the Hanahaki Disease. The one that caused flowers to painfully grow and blossom in your chest when you were in love with someone who didn’t return your feelings. It could grow over weeks, month or even years before it could consume and kill you. That was unless you surgically removed the flowers as well as your feelings for the person or that person reciprocated the feelings and the flowers would just disappear. 

Instead of studying for the test that he had the next day, Junhee had been researching the disease. He was planning to use it for his oral presentation the next week and was looking for some fun facts.

He stumbled on an interesting one. In some cases the person falls in love with an already deceased person. In this instance, the flowers appeared wilted and the roots were dead yet clutching itself onto the person’s rib cage.

He winced slightly at the thought of ever falling for a dead person, placing his hand on his chest softly and rubbing it. He nodded slowly as he continued to read more but eventually decided it was time for bed. Perhaps the cherry blossoms covered in blood threw him off or maybe it was the daffodils extracted from someone’s chest cavity. Either way, it was a thought he didn’t want to appear in his dreams just yet.

******************

His arrival at school was nothing special. He did get stares here and there but that was because he was possibly the most handsome student at school. He didn’t believe it was that. He just thought it was because of his best friend. Although he heard that through the years at school, at least 20 girls had developed the disease from falling in love with him. None of hem wanted to lose their feelings for him but were forced to by their parents to keep them alive.

Register period came and Junhee was still alone. His best friend hadn’t shown up yet and it was starting to frustrate him.

‘I told that asshole never to leave me alone with these people,’ he cursed him mentally as he pulled out his phone to message him.

Suddenly a random glow came from the door. Junhee didn’t have to look up to know that his best friend had made his fashionably late entrance.

“Good morning, everyone!” Yuchan greeted cheerfully with the biggest smile. The only thing anyone ever wondered was how he had that same smile on his face for seven hours straight.

Nobody had ever seen him unhappy or even without smiling. He seemed to have the same effect that Junhee had on the general school population, except everyone loved him.

Junhee had a princely aura around him. Only their close friends had ever really seen him be his true self, smiling and joking around. He was terribly shy, which was why Yuchan often did the talking between the two of them. Most people fell in love with his looks. When he did speak to do oral presentations, everyone stopped what they did to listen to him just to know what he sounded like.

Many people would argue that Junhee was the quiet one, when in reality, when they were alone, they were both equally as loud. The two would laugh about nothing for hours, enjoying only each other’s company until one of them had to go home. Only Yuchan knew how much of a clown Junhee really was.

Yuchan walked over to his best friend, sitting down in front of him with that smile still plastered on his face.

“Stop smiling, I can’t see your eyes,” Junhee pretended to complain.

Yuchan let out a giggle before his smile lessened a little since he actually couldn’t see. “Are you coming to my game this afternoon?”

“Why should I? Half the school’s population will be there to cheer you on.”

If Yuchan being as handsome as he was with a practically perfect personality wasn’t enough, he was also captain of the football team as well as the school’s representative singer. Whether it was singing at special assemblies or at national contests, Junhee was always there and, every single time, the person next to him would be crying.

“It’ll be more special if you’re there,” Yuchan pouted slightly hoping to illicit a reaction from Junhee. He knew he was too cute to resist.

“I was going to be there anyway,” Junhee scoffs, about to push him to wipe that look off his face.

Yuchan’s face lit up once more. Junhee actually closed his eyes.

“Jesus, warn me next time or I’ll unplug you!”

Yuchan lets out a light laugh before they begin to talk about other stuff.

*******************

Junhee’s day seemed to be going on for much longer than it should have. Every lesson seemed longer than the other. The test that he had somehow went well which was the only good thing to happen to him all day.

Now it was after school and he had to prepare his ears for all the screaming he would hear. He was lucky to have brought his coat with as it suddenly got cold. He wasn’t that worried for Yuchan considering he would be running around most of the time.

The field’s stands filled up shortly with Junhee standing next to the manager’s box. Often the opposing team’s manager would question why he was standing there but their school’s manager assured them that he was useful to the team, knowing that he was Yuchan’s emotional support, especially for big games like this.

The game was about to start and the two teams eventually run out onto the field, led by their captains. He watched as Yuchan leads the team with a toothless smile plastered onto his face, waving to the school’s crowd.

Junhee could’ve sworn he heard a girl cry because he waved at them but he knew that the real tears came out when the game was over. When the teams come off and all the boys are all dirty from playing in the outdoors. There was something about Yuchan sweaty and covered in dirt that seemed to rile the crowd up even more. Maybe it was a sign that he put in so much effort in securing yet another win or having given his all in the game. Or maybe it was because it made him look much hotter than normal, especially when the dirt was on his face and he’d lift his shirt to wipe it off. Every time that happened, a high school girl or boy at times would ascend to heaven.

With the game having begun and Yuchan having already run the length of the field, it was getting colder. The players’ hard breathing was evident from the mist that formed from their mouths.

Aside for the loud cheering, Yuchan would occasionally have to yell something to one of the players on the far side of the field, which sometimes couldn’t be heard.

Junhee silently supported from the side-lines, patiently waiting for when he would score a goal and then run to him in celebration. He would crack a smile now and then but was focused on the game itself. It hadn’t occurred to him that it was the last game of the season and was a deciding factor for who would win the league.

Half time had come and the game was tied to 0. The teams came off for their fifteen-minute break. Junhee walked over to the team to see how Yuchan was doing.

He was handing out water to the players, giving each one a bottle and an encouraging message. He was a little stressed out from how the game was going so far but reassured the team that there was still 45 minutes plus extra time to pull something off.

“You okay?” Junhee patted Yuchan on the back.

He nodded. “Just hoping the other team stops trying so hard so we can win,” he laughed breathlessly before gulping a mouthful of a blue energy drink Junhee didn’t know the name of.

“But even if you don’t win, there’s still next week, right?”

Yuchan looked at Junhee a distinct ‘WTF’ face, breathing hard before answering him. “Did you forget that this is the last game of the season? And that if we win this, we win the league?”

Junhee’s eyes widened. He had completely forgotten about that.

“Okay, then I guess you guys should pull some shit, tackle some hoes, injure bitches and so on.”

This made Yuchan laugh really loudly before giving Junhee a hug.

“Eww, you’re all sweaty and disgusting!” Junhee fake gags as he hugs him back.

What Yuchan did when he pulled away from the hug surprised Junhee. The 15 minutes were over so he moved from the hug and moved to run back on before he turned back to Junhee. He smiled that mischievous-looking smile, that not-so-cute smile and winked at Junhee.

Junhee felt a _pang_ in his chest the second he turned back. It felt like a slight sting but was enough to make him wince in slight pain. He was slightly confused about his body’s reaction. It wasn’t the first time Yuchan had ever winked at him and it surely wouldn’t be the last. He shrugged it off and continued watching the game

**********************

Once the game was over and Yuchan’s team had won the game, everybody celebrated. Junhee smiled happily before preparing to cover his ears. Yuchan was fiddling with his practically soaked shirt and had that cheeky smile on his face, which seemed like a hint as to what he was going to do next.

He made a deal with Junhee that he’d take his shirt off at the end of the league if they win, sort of as a thank you to the school for their undying support for the team. The news of his ultimatum spread quickly through the school. Soon people were coming to more games and showing more support to the other players of the team other than Yuchan. He was convinced that they were just realizing that their team is good a little later, no matter how many times Junhee told him that the school just wanted him out of his clothes so they could drool over him.

He looked over at the team, suddenly getting shy. He may not have been insanely ripped but he did have some really good assets. He was more or less when one’s face didn’t match one’s body.

As soon as Yuchan’s shirt came off, the stands fell silent. The shock and awe experienced by everyone stunned them to the point of silence.

Yuchan stood with flushed cheeks as his body seemed to glisten against the light of the sunset. He looked around, seeing that even his teammates were staring at his torso.

Junhee looked over at the crowd, seeing that there were a few people sitting down and fanning themselves. He couldn’t imagine what sort of horny thoughts were going through some people’s heads and was happy that he wasn’t surrounded by all those hormones.

Yuchan began to run off the field towards Junhee and that was when the actual screaming started. When the realization that the school’s angel Kang Yuchan was running around, looking like the finest chocolate the school had ever seen yet never tried to show himself off even once. If anything, there was going to be a bigger number of people in love with him for bring so humble about himself.

“Did I do well?” Yuchan breathlessly asked Junhee.

“Well you murdered half of the school so I guess yes,” Junhee laughed before wrapping his arm around his shirtless best friend’s shoulders.

His chest stiffened and he let out a cough. He beat his chest a few times to loosen the feeling a little but it didn’t make it any better.

“You okay?” Yuchan looked over at him with concern in his eyes.

Junhee nodded but let out another cough. He had his hand in front of his mouth and was surprised to have caught something. He placed it in his pocket without even looking at it, just so that he wouldn’t alarm Yuchan.

The walk back to Yuchan’s home was rather quick. One of his teammates dropped off his school bag moments before the two arrived. Junhee left Yuchan there, saying that he needed to study for another test, ignoring Yuchan’s protesting for him to stay.

Junhee quickly made his way home and locked himself in his room. His chest wouldn’t stop tightening. He was convinced he was coming down with some kind of respiratory infection or pneumonia with how much pain he felt in his chest.

He then remembered what happened earlier and reached into his coat pocket to retrieve the soft object.

A single sunflower petal.

Junhee looked at it in horror. His chest loosened a little more before he coughed one more time, releasing another sunflower petal with specks of blood on it.

He placed the petals on a piece of tissue as he stared at it more.

**Who could I possibly be in love with?**


	2. The Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is essentially where it all goes to shit :)))  
> enjoy

A few more moments of Junhee studying the flower petals had passed. He had gone his whole high school career without falling in love. There weren’t any new students in his grade and, even if there were, he didn’t like any of them like that.

‘There was that one girl though,’ Junhee thought to himself. That one girl that he saw the other day with the pretty black hair and the low cut sneakers. That was all that he remembered about her besides her face. It couldn’t have been her since he first saw her around three months ago and hadn’t seen her since, nor did he ever develop feelings for her at any time.

All the thinking that Junhee had been doing was hurting his head. His chest wasn’t easing up in the slightest. He went back to his laptop, opening up the disease’s research that he had left from the previous night.

‘Often the symptoms range from flu-like to the actual coughing up of flowers,’ the article wrote. ‘The flowers by default are cherry blossoms but can also be symbolic of the person that the victim has fallen in love with.’

“Who do I know symbolises a sunflower?” Junhee asked softly aloud to himself.

He opened up another tab to research sunflower symbolism. _Hope, Joy, Adoration, Loyalty, Brightness, Delight, Beauty._ Those were the main aspects of what a sunflower represented. But Junhee was too stumped to think of anyone that was like that.

Well, there was Yuchan but Junhee knew it wasn’t him. He could never fall in love with his best friend. That was just heartbreak waiting to happen.

He switched back to the disease’s tab to continue reading.

‘Often the symptoms only show up a few days after the victim has fallen in love or even weeks. But in severe cases, the victim could go straight into flower coughing immediately after the feelings develop. The flowers are a telling of how strong the love is. The faster the symptoms show and the more flowers appear tells us that the victim’s love is indeed very strong.’

Junhee’s flowers started appearing before he even realized that he was in love. The love must have been growing really fast, he suspected.

Soon after, Junhee started to get nervous. He was too scared to die, especially such a painful death. He didn’t think it was worth the pain. He didn’t even know who he was in love with.

Perhaps he would first investigate who it was that he was feeling for. Perhaps he could make them fall in love with him. After all, he was Park Junhee, nearly everyone in the school had feelings for him in some way.

Though the night went by quite quickly, Junhee had to occasionally wake up. The pain in his chest would randomly strengthen and wake him up. He would wince and groan a little as he rubbed his chest to ease the ache even a little.

**************************

Junhee’s investigation wasn’t going all too well. No girl that he looked at gave him the strong feeling in his heart.

He would continuously cough up one or two petals at a time and shove them into his pocket before Yuchan could see.

Junhee should’ve known how difficult it was to keep something from Yuchan. He was always asking Junhee questions about everything and was always by his side. Even when he was out with really bad flu, Yuchan contracted it only a day after Junhee because he wasn’t prepared to leave him alone and decided to be sick with him.

“Are you okay?” Yuchan asked for the millionth time that day.

“Chan, I told you I’m fine,” Junhee said, sounding a little hoarse from his constant coughing.

“You’re just suddenly really sick. I’m your best friend, I think I’m allowed to be concerned about you.” 

Junhee nodded before patting Yuchan’s hand that was sitting on the table. “You are but don’t worry about me. I’m a fighter!”

It was when Junhee said that, he got that dreaded reaction from Yuchan and that was when it happened again. Yuchan smiled and let out a baby-like giggle and Junhee’s chest tightened exponentially.

“I’m going to the bathroom real quick,” Junhee suddenly got up. Yuchan didn’t even have time to protest as Junhee was sped out of the class room, not bothering to ask permission to leave.

He had a nauseated feeling in his stomach paired with the ache in his chest. He held his mouth closed, feeling the flowers coming up from his throat.

He burst into the bathroom, running into the first stall. It didn’t matter to him if someone was in there but luckily for him, it was only the beginning of third period so teachers wouldn’t allow students out just yet.

He crouched over the toilet bowl, removing his hand from his mouth and releasing at least nine petals mixed with a few handfuls of blood. He looked at the contents, nearing tears as he watched the petals float on the red-dyed water.

He coughed a few more times, coughing up a couple more petals. His hand weakly clutched onto the handle and pulled it down, watching the petals spiral down the drain.

He lifted himself up from the floor slowly, making his way to the sink. He opened the tap, cupping his hand at the end of the gushing water and rinsing his mouth of the blood that dripped down.

He looked in the mirror, noticing that his skin had a slight green tinge to it, evident that the flowers’ stem and leaves were growing strong. At least if Yuchan asked, he could just say he got food poisoning or that really bad flu again.

It hurt him to lie to Yuchan but he could not imagine the stress he would go through if he learned his best friend was dying of an unrequited love disease. Yuchan would definitely force him to get the surgery to keep him alive but Junhee wasn’t even sure if he knew who he loved.

He left the bathroom and made his way back to class. Yuchan stood outside of the class with a frantic expression as he looked down both ends of the hallway. When he saw Junhee coming, he dashed toward him, relief fuelling him.

“Junhee, what the fuck? What happened? Are you okay? Are you getting sick? Did something scare you?”

Those were only a few of the questions that Yuchan bombarded him with. He was worried sick about him, noticing the green tinge to his best friend’s skin.

“Junhee, seriously,” Yuchan spoke with a now assertive tone, “what is going on?”

Junhee opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted once again.

“And don’t you dare tell me that you’re okay because you’re obviously not.”

He opened his mouth again, uttering the lie he had prepared in the bathroom. “I must’ve contracted a really bad flu again.”

Junhee hoped and prayed to gods that he didn’t believe and gods he didn’t know existed. The only thing that would be worse than lying to Yuchan was him not believing him and forcing the truth out of him.

Yuchan looked a little sceptically at Junhee but the evidence was clearly there. “Okay.”

Junhee internally rejoiced and moved to keep walking but Yuchan stopped him and pulled him into a tight hug. Junhee could hear his heart pounding in his ears and his body began to heat up.

“Just promise me that you’re going to be okay.” Yuchan’s voice became soft and loving as he protectively held onto Junhee. He rubbed his back softly just to emphasise the softness of the situation.

Junhee nodded as his arms wrapped around Yuchan. He was once again nearing tears but some thing seemed to hit him. A thought.

Yuchan was always full of joy and delight. He also knew that he adored Junhee like his own brother. He was always bright and hopeful and his heart was filled with beauty. It was almost as if Yuchan was the human embodiment of the sun or a particular flower.

When Yuchan pulled away and looked back at Junhee, there was a feeling in Junhee that brought him one time closer to figuring out the truth. Whether it was the concerned look in Yuchan’s eyes or the look of Yuchan in general, it hit Junhee like a bucket of ice water.

They were best friends since childhood, having been together through thick and thin and having seen each other at the best and worst of times yet it took Junhee only three days. Three days onto the path of heartbreak and there was only one thing that he could think of.

_**‘Oh.’** _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF we have finally gotten the oh moment  
> How is Junhee going to play this?  
> Stay Tuned to FInd Out more!!   
> <3<3<3


	3. Its The Disease Talking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just so you all know I do read all the comments and I'm super sorry but it really doesnt get better💔  
> but enjoy!!

Junhee could barely concentrate. Him realizing the one person he loved in this cold, cruel world was killing him slowly and painfully wasn’t something he could get past. Having to be near Yuchan nearly every minute of the day was even worse but it would eradicate any suspicion. He would much rather suffer through this than make Yuchan question their friendship.

When the final bell of the day rang through the school, Junhee wanted nothing more than to run home, lock his bedroom door and sob himself to sleep. But Yuchan already had something planned since a few weeks back and Junhee was never one to go back on a promise.

Junhee patiently waited outside of Yuchan’s History class since his teacher was keeping them back to finish a lecture that Yuchan wasn’t listening to. Junhee looked down the hallway, seeing students sitting on the floor next to rows of lockers. Either they were catching up, gossiping or actually doing work, Junhee didn’t know and he didn’t really care.

The door opened and students piled out of the class, making Junhee straighten himself a little. Yuchan was the last to leave as he was having a conversation with his Biology practical partner. It may not have mattered to Junhee before but it started to bother him then.

‘She’s getting way too friendly with him,’ Junhee thought as he furrowed his eyebrows slightly. ‘She’s such a fucking slut, with her disgusting hands all over my Yuchan. I swear if sh-‘

“Hey,” Yuchan’s voice cleared Junhee’s thoughts. He was standing right in front of him, with that girl.

“Hi.”

Junhee was definitely not in the mood for conversation, especially with someone that was obviously trying to steal Yuchan from him.

‘She’s just his partner,’ a small voice told him. ‘That’s the disease talking.’

“This is Minji, if you remember,” Yuchan kindly reintroduced her. She gave Junhee a pretty smile, before moving her hair out of her face. _She really was beautiful_ , Junhee thought.

“I remember, nice to meet you again,” he sounded timid and shy even though he didn’t mean it.

The two started talking again about something that Junhee wasn’t listening to once again. The only thing he could focus on was how Yuchan was looking at Minji.

He had that fond look in his eyes that he only looked at Junhee with. He was using that expression on her. She was shorter than both of them and he knew how much Yuchan liked small girls. He always said that he loved people shorter than him since it made him want to love and protect them from the world.

_Maybe I should cut my knees off_ , Junhee thought. _Maybe that’ll make you love me and take this pain away._

The pain in his chest grew as he watched Yuchan laugh at something she said. He wasn’t sure what was going on but it wasn’t his fault. It was the disease. He wasn’t a jealous person, he never was. But something about that laugh made his heart ache in desire.

The two seemed to have already been good friends as she went in for a hug instead of a normal goodbye. Their difference in size seemed to aggravate Junhee’s chest even more. _She fit so well there,_ Junhee thought. He looked down to see Yuchan’s hands hovering over her back and taking it as a sign that they weren’t that close.

She left shortly after, leaving Junhee and Yuchan.

Junhee’s skin had gotten greener from more flowers growing from that interaction. Yuchan was going to point it out but he knew Junhee would be too annoyed to hear him constantly talk about how he looked.

“So you remember that promise we made a few years back, the one about prom?” Yuchan spoke up.

Junhee nodded slowly and they started walking.

“Have you managed to find a date?”

Junhee half forgot about getting one and half didn’t want one. Prom dates only ever ended two ways at this high school: Sex or a broken heart and he knew he was destined for the latter.

“I haven’t,” he shook his head. He was afraid to ask if Yuchan got one because that meant he would have to a handful more of flowers.

“I haven’t either.” _Thank God._ “So I was hoping you and me could go together, like we promised.”

“Way to sweep me off my feet,” Junhee said jokingly. His voice was becoming hoarser by the day.

“I’ll bring you some flowers tomorrow, which ones do you want?”

Junhee thought for a second. If he wanted sunflowers, he would just throw it up. They may have been his favourite flower but that was just because they were Yuchan in flower form. So that meant he had to go for his actual favourite.

“The brightest red roses you can find.” It wasn’t going to get Junhee’s message across but at least in Junhee’s final moments it would seem like Yuchan finally loved him back.

****************

Junhee had managed to supress the countless flowers pouring out of him until he got home. He had given up on still running to the bathroom and just went for the closest trashcan.

His parents weren’t going to be home for a few more days but he could only imagine how devastated they would be if they found their son dead in their house, especially covered in blood and flowers. He knew they would curse themselves for not staying home more or even calling to check up on him more although they called everyday or whenever they could.

‘I should just go for the surgery,’ he thought to himself as he wiped the remaining blood off his chin. Yuchan didn’t deserve the pain of losing his best friend and Junhee didn’t deserve the pain of unrequited love.

Everything would go back to normal. Junhee would go back to feeling platonic love and would still have his best friend. But his love was growing too strong and too fast. By the time he was scheduled for the surgery, he would be throwing up whole flowers and choking on them. It would waste his parents’ money all because he developed a little crush. If anything, he felt like he deserved to die.

He estimated that he would have 2-3 days maximum. The flowers were growing too quickly, like they were laced with a speed growth serum. He had taken one of the seeds that came with the flowers and planted them in a pretty pot to put beside his bed. It was already in full bloom, which was completely weird because it took months for sunflowers to grow.

He sat by his desk, prepared to write a letter to his parents. Leaving without saying goodbye would be one of the worst things he could do.

He began his letter with an apology followed by the explanation. He didn’t name who was causing the disease as he didn’t know what his parents would do with Yuchan if they knew he indirectly killed their son.

As he put the finishing touches on his letter, he turned to the trashcan next to his bed and released his mouth’s contents. This time a whole sunflower with every petal and seed still intact lay on top of the trash. Blood seeped down Junhee’s chin as he clutched his chest once more. the pain was becoming unbearable.

He struggled to catch his breath as uncontrollable tears streamed down his cheeks. He coughed a bit more, more flower petals falling out. This wasn’t worth it. Nothing was worth the amount of pain he was going through. He should’ve just ended it himself in that moment but he decided to go a little further.

A letter to Yuchan for after he passed away.

********************

Junhee messaged Yuchan very early in the morning, around 2, just to ask for a simple favour.

> ❤️Junbear
> 
> ?are you still awake
> 
> Chanshine💛
> 
> yeah, what’s up?

Junhee looked around for a little bit. His time was beginning to run out too quickly. He wasn’t going to tell Yuchan how he felt but wanted to go somewhere with him before he died.

> ❤️Junbear
> 
> take me to that hill I told you about
> 
> Chanshine💛
> 
> Okay

Junhee had told Yuchan some time ago that he wanted to go to particular hill in the middle of the night with the love of his life. There, they would watch the stars dance on the blanket of the night sky as he sings a song that he wrote specially for them. With Junhee’s end approaching, he wanted to do it with Yuchan.

A few minutes later, Yuchan was outside of Junhee’s house. Junhee slid a pair of slippers on, not bothering to change out of his sleepwear.

He walked out, seeing Yuchan’s bed hair clearly through the passenger window. His chest had a warm feeling to it and he took that as a good sign.

He hopped into the front seat, buckling the seatbelt before turning to an obviously exhausted Yuchan.

“Why the fuck do you want to go out at this hour?” Yuchan’s quiet bed voice filled the silence.

“I just really want to,” Junhee said, with a small smile on his face. He then turned around, seeing a dozen bright red roses on the backseat. “You really got them?”

“Yes, of course,” Yuchan began to drive off. Suddenly the ache in his chest doesn’t matter anymore.

*******************

Once they got to the hill, Junhee hopped out of the car before Yuchan to go find their spot.

The hill looked like it came out of a fantasy. A huge willow tree sat in the middle on the field in the most ideal location. Its branches didn’t obstruct the sky at all and overall was Junhee’s favourite spot.

He sat down on the soft yet cold grass, letting it run through his fingers. He closed his eyes to feel the soft breeze sweeping through his hair. Once he opened his eyes, Yuchan stood with a less tired expression and with the roses in his hand. And in that moment, everything was okay.

Yuchan sat down beside him, placing the roses on the grass next to him. He then wiggled around a little and lay down, waiting for Junhee to do the same.

Junhee wanted to look at him for a little longer. For that one moment in time, Yuchan was his and only his. He had him all to himself, even if it was going to hurt later. He looked so beautiful under the moonlight. The stars were nothing compared to the sparkle in his eyes. He was ethereal to Junhee and he would give anything to have that moment last forever.

Junhee laid down next to him, not wanting to cuddle him and make it weird. But Yuchan pulled him closer so he had no choice but to latch onto him.

“Why are we here though?” Yuchan asked once more.

“I just wanted to get out,” Junhee mumbled, snuggling into Yuchan’s chest and trying to listen for his heartbeat.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Junhee shook his head. “I just want you to know that, whatever happens, you’re my best friend.”

Yuchan was very confused as well as suspicious. “Of course. At this point we’re practically brothers.”

_Ouch, brotherzoned._ Junhee’s chest was aggravated by the statement. “Yeah, brothers.”

Yuchan then loosened his hold on Junhee and went for his hand.

“And you promise that we’ll be together forever?”

Junhee had too much on his mind and heart to make that promise. He was going to die way too soon and break the promise, breaking Yuchan’s heart in the process. He couldn’t, he just couldn’t make that promise.

“Junhee?” _Oh no, he’s doing the thing._ Yuchan’s voice cracked slightly as his eyes drooped a few degrees, making the puppy eyes Junhee and literally everyone on earth could not resist.

“Yes,” Junhee began, mentally struggling through the sentence. “We’ll be together forever.”

Yuchan brightened up almost instantly, moving back to his original position so that Junhee could go back to laying on his chest.

Junhee wanted to cry in that moment. The pain in his heart was back and, this time, was the worst it had been so far. He hated making promises that he couldn’t keep, especially ones that would hurt his precious sunflower.

They may not be together forever starting from tomorrow but when Yuchan’s time came when he was old and frail and when he passed away in his sleep after having a fulfilling life, then their true forever would begin.

But at this moment, it was Junhee’s forever and he never wanted to leave. It he left the position he was in, it would send him back into pain and suffering, with flowers and blood coming out of him along with tears flowing down his cheeks. That was a horrible forever but it was his fate.

Right now, he had Yuchan. The moon and stars didn’t matter for Yuchan was everything, from the sun to the moon, the stars to the planets to the asteroids. He was certain the disease was talking all the mushy stuff since he’d only fallen for Yuchan four days ago but the love wasa too strong to deny anymore. It was strong enough to kill him after only days of developing so it was strong enough to make him say such things about Yuchan.

He stared up at the stars, asking the moon to make him into a star so that he could continue to watch over Yuchan after he passed. The moon flashed for nearly a split second, just enough for Junhee to catch.

_I hope that meant yes_ , Junhee thought.

Junhee slowly started to fall asleep to the sound of Yuchan’s heart beating. He was hoping that he wouldn’t wake up again, that he would be free from the pain. But not yet.

**_It was just a shame that he couldn’t go with Yuchan to prom anymore._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Junhee, my love, im so sorry  
> I'll see when I can update again  
> Stay Tuned to See Where This Goes   
> Bye❤️❤️


	4. Flower Gleam And Glow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> She's almost done, my loves!!  
> Here's just a little cuteness before i finish off this fic  
> I wanna thank everyone who has supported this fic so far  
> ILY❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

The drive home from Junhee’s favourite spot was a little more silent than normal. Yuchan somehow wasn’t feeling too talkative and Junhee had nothing to say.

Junhee slowly looked over at Yuchan, who was too concentrated on the road to notice his stare. He wanted to remember every one of his beautiful features, from his sparkling eyes to his adorable nose, from his slightly mismatched ears to the natural pout on his lips. Junhee didn’t want a single feature out of his head.

“Do you wanna stay the night with me?”

Junhee’s question suddenly filled the silent air. Yuchan wasn’t too surprised but more jerked from the sudden sound.

“I don’t have my uniform,” Yuchan said, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Let’s go get it quickly.”

“Why do you want me to stay over?” Yuchan sounded suspicious.

“What’s wrong with wanting to spend time with my bestest best friend in the whole wide world?” Junhee just wanted to spend a little more time with Yuchan before he died. His time was getting shorter by the minute and he was worried if he would even make it through the night. Sure, it was selfish of him to want Yuchan to be there when he passed, but he wanted to die with the last piece of light he had left beside him.

“You’re acting as if you’re going to commit suicide or something,” Yuchan’s tone had a light-hearted edge to it but it was mostly concern. “Is there something you maybe wanna tell me?”

Junhee let out a dry laugh. _No method of suicide is more painful than the pain you’re causing me right now_ , Junhee thought about saying.

“I just want to spend more time with you tonight, okay?” _Please stop asking questions, I can't keep lying to you._

Yuchan looked like he still wasn’t buying it and was prepared to ask more questions. That was until Junhee started coughing.

Junhee grabbed the pack of tissues that Yuchan randomly stashed in the glove compartment and held it in front of his mouth. There was no way he could hide an entire flower again but a little more fortunately, only blood came out.

Yuchan didn’t want to take his concentration off the road in case a random driver appeared and he wasn’t paying attention.

“Are you okay? Do you need to go to the hospital?” His levels of concern skyrocketed when Junhee’s coughing became more aggressive.

“No, just take me home.”

Yuchan complied, even though his concerned best friend mindset told him not to listen to Junhee and take him to hospital.

“Okay, I’ll take you home and then I’ll go get my stuff,” Yuchan said as he turned into Junhee’s street. “Will you be okay until I get back?”

 _Tell me that you love me and I’ll be okay._ “Yes.”

Yuchan didn’t want to ask any more questions. He could see that Junhee’s condition was getting worse, evident by his pale green undertones to his skin and his rapidly deteriorating condition. He could’ve sworn Junhee was okay a few minutes ago.

Pain erupted violently in Junhee’s chest; he needed to get out of the car quickly. He could feel a flower start to rise up his throat. Its petals tickled the inside of his throat as the seeds scratched roughly on its way up. His chest was closing and he almost couldn’t breathe anymore.

Junhee hopped out of the car, rushing into his house. Yuchan didn’t even have enough time to say ‘ _see you later_ ’ before Junhee disappeared into his house.

He collapsed against the front door, releasing the whole sunflower next to him. The pain was excruciating as yet another, bigger flower came out of his mouth. More blood dripped down his mouth as he coughed out the remaining petals. He was lucky enough to be able to hold it down before Yuchan could see but he didn’t know how much longer he could hide it from him. He was throwing up more flowers every day. He was surprised it was only coming from one hole from how many flowers he’d been releasing.

He slowly got up after a few moments. Luckily there was a rug just before the front door so he was lucky enough to vomit on there. He folded the rug and dragged it to the living room. He would deal with the smell later but he just needed the flowers out of the way.

He went upstairs to his bedroom. He wondered if Yuchan was really that tired and prepped a few movies for them to watch if neither could sleep.

He skimmed his ready-made movie playlist, seeing one of Junhee’s favourite movies, Tangled. Junhee would do anything to be in Rapunzel’s place, locked in a tower, away from everyone. He’d get lonely for sure but at least loneliness wasn’t painful.

He heard the front door open. His body seemed to relax and his chest felt open. It seemed Yuchan’s presence made him feel better instantly.

Junhee sat and waited for Yuchan to come through the door. He walked in with his school bag in his one hand and a bag of butter popcorn in the other.

“I assume we won’t be sleeping anytime soon,” Yuchan smiled adorably as he walked towards Junhee’s desk, setting his bag next to the table. He then walked over to Junhee’s bed, plopping himself down.

“So, what’s our first movie?”

Junhee had a mischievous smile on his face as he pressed the spacebar of his laptop, letting the video speak for itself.

A few moments in and Yuchan playfully rolled his eyes. “How many more times are you going to watch this?”

“Oh, shut up, you know you love it too,” Junhee hit his shoulder lightly.

Yuchan moved around a little before settling himself on the bed. He moved his arm around Junhee so that he had a comfortable spot to lay on him. Junhee was hesitant at first but adjusted himself slightly down so that he was directly on Yuchan’s chest. He draped his arm over Yuchan’s stomach and wriggled just a little more before relaxing completely.

Yuchan occasionally moved his thumb slowly across a small area of Junhee’s back. Junhee would let out a low purr, completely ready to fall asleep in the safe space of Yuchan’s arms.

Some would argue that the position was a little too intimate for best friends, especially male ones. But the two always found comfort in holding each other, whether it be hugs in public or full on cuddling in private.

Junhee felt as if he needed to hold onto Yuchan for dear life. With every yellow flower that appeared on screen, his heart raced and his palms became sweaty. Just the colour yellow was making Junhee nervous. He hoped Yuchan didn’t somehow find out.

“Do you have your topic ready for tomorrow’s oral?” Yuchan spoke up just as Rapunzel and Flynn were rowing to their spot to witness the lanterns she’d been dreaming of.

“Yeah,” Junhee said quickly, hoping to shut him up so he wouldn’t interrupt the song.

“What’s it about?”

“It’s about me about to decapitate you if you don’t shut the fuck up,” he said, hitting Yuchan not so lightly on his chest.

“Ow!” Yuchan winced slightly. “Come on, it’s a simple question.”

“It’s about the Hanahaki disease,” Junhee replied, hitting the spacebar and looking up at Yuchan.

“Why? That’s such a sad and depressing topic, mine’s going to be about tangerine farming,” Yuchan scrunched his nose slightly.

“Yep, sad and depressing, now shut up,” he moved back to his original position and hit the spacebar to play the movie once more.

Yuchan wanted to talk once more but it seemed that his exhaustion finally hit him. His eyes closed slowly and the world around him became quiet. His hold on Junhee didn’t weaken, which was why Junhee didn’t notice he was asleep until the song was over.

He heard a soft snoring sound coming from above his head and moved his head to look up at Yuchan.

He looked like such an angel when he was asleep. The amount of beauty he exuded made Junhee forget about the movie and focus on him. He looked so healthy, his cheeks rosy and chubby. Junhee moved his hand away from his stomach to his head to move Yuchan’s bangs out of his face, just to see his face a little more.

There were so many things that went through Junhee’s head. Mainly thoughts about how perfect Yuchan was and how he seemed to get more perfect when he slept. He was in the calmest state, still and ethereal and that alone stirred more hurt in Junhee’s chest. He could never be as serene as Yuchan was in that moment or any moment ever again nor could he be the reason that he was like that.

He was going to make Yuchan restless and depressed. He was going to kill his sunshine’s spark and there was nothing that could stop it.

He moved the laptop over to his desk, where the movie continued to play. He then moved back onto his bed, shifting the blankets over himself and Yuchan.

Yuchan naturally moved into Junhee’s arms before Junhee even got into a comfortable position. Junhee smiled slightly, moving a little more and got himself comfy.

He looked down once more at Yuchan, wondering if he would wake up if he kissed his lips, just a soft peck and nothing more. As much as he wanted it to be a good idea and no matter how soft Yuchan’s lips looked, it was technically non-consensual and Junhee didn’t like the thought of taking his best friend’s first kiss in his sleep.

He settled with a small kiss on the top of his head, like he normally did. It was nothing unusual to him but with Yuchan’s sudden shifting, he was worried he overstepped a boundary. But Yuchan didn’t wake up. His snoring only got slightly louder, evident to Junhee that he was already past deep sleep and wouldn’t be woken up easily. 

Junhee settled on staring at Yuchan, so fascinated by his features that he forgot about how tired he was. He let out a really big yawn, so big that his eyes began to tear. He gave Yuchan’s head one more kiss, just knowing that it would be his last one and muttering words that would never be uttered back to him.

**“I love you. So much.”**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, Yuchan wasn't awake and did not hear him  
> Hopefully Junhee's presentation goes well :)))  
> Bye✨❤️


	5. Junhee’s Preparation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for making you guys wait so long!! I've been working so hard on the ending that I forgot to put this one up lmao  
> Enjoy, or not

Junhee only managed to sleep around 2 hours before waking up. With it being 5 in the morning, he decided against trying to go back to sleep. He needed to be awake at 6 anyway. 

He looked down at the sleeping beauty in his arms, softly snoring his life away. Junhee softly stroked Yuchan’s soft hair, admiring him a little more. 

He watched him sleep soundly for about three minutes before looking up. He noticed the petal he had planted in a small pot plant only days ago. It had bloomed into a fully grown sunflower, close to breaking the pot itself. 

Often it would be facing out of the window but never in the actual direction of the sun like it was supposed to. It was always faced in the direction, Junhee noticed, of Yuchan’s house. In that moment, it was facing Junhee’s bed and he was certain the flower was not growing towards him. 

Junhee let out a soft sigh, looking down at his desk and seeing that Tangled was somehow still playing. _I probably forgot to put singular loop off_ , he thought. He went back to watching the movie, freezing slightly when he realized where in the movie they were.

Flynn, now Eugene at that point, was dying and Rapunzel was holding him close – crying over him and attempting to save him by singing the healing incantation. His heart hurt, which it never used to at this scene since he was so used to it. He looked back down at Yuchan, still asleep and then back to the laptop. 

When Flynn/Eugene was finally saved and all the theatrics took place and their happily ever after came, Junhee wanted to cry. He clutched his chest and winced as it suddenly tightened. He slipped from underneath Yuchan gently - even though he knew he was too heavy a sleeper to wake up – and lunged to the bathroom. 

He hunched over the sink, vomiting only blood. The bright crimson stood out immensely against the pure white basin, as if to show him the pain he would cause Yuchan. 

Everything that came out of him or that he thought of reminded him of Yuchan. White reminded him of how much of an angel he was. Red was Junhee’s blood that would be on Yuchan’s hands. Yellow was Yuchan himself and black was their lives without each other. 

Something urged Junhee to wake Yuchan up and tell him what was going on. To tell him that he may not make it through the day and that he loved him so much, just not in a platonic way. Maybe Yuchan could feel the same if Junhee just told him. But he had convinced himself that it was no use to tell Yuchan because he was going to die anyway and not a single thing could save him. Not even Yuchan returning his feelings. 

Junhee turned the tap on, letting the water wash his sins away. Love was evil, horrible, and sinful; it was every bad word Junhee could think of. Falling in love with his best friend was his greatest sin on earth and, if he were even religious, he would be condemned to hell for the pain he caused himself and Yuchan. His sins multiplied since they were against the greatest gift of humanity. Not even water, the second purest substance after Yuchan, could wash away his sins as the basin developed a slight pink tinge from the sticky blood.

Junhee held onto the edge of the sink, letting his head sink just over the basin to allow his tears to fall in there instead of on the floor. He was exhausted from the pain and the fighting. He was ready to give in to the disease but then he remembered his presentation. He groaned softly, realizing that he couldn’t miss it even if he literally died. 

He reached over to the hook, grabbing the towel and wiping his face. He looked down to check for blood stains on his pajama top, finding nothing. He hooked the towel once more, looking back into the mirror. He honestly did not want to look at himself but he had to make sure he didn’t look like complete shit or it would be suspicious to Yuchan.

He moved to leave the bathroom, standing just in the doorway as he looked again at the sunflower in the window sill. He was right, it was growing towards Yuchan. Its head stood firmly in his direction, basking in his sunshine aura. Yuchan never wanted to listen when everyone told him that he was living sunshine, now Junhee had proof. 

He walked to his dresser, pulling out a clean white shirt. He sighed, placing it gently on top of the dresser. He then pulled another pair of grey pants, placing it next to the shirt. 

He went to get his tie that hung from his doorknob and placed that also next to his shirt. Placing all his clothes the way he did reminded him of when, in movies, a person would set out their best clothing that they plan to commit suicide in. It was exactly how it felt to Junhee. 

He was resisting the urge to cry as he realized that he was probably going to die at school. He'd always hoped it be some place warm and comfy, like his bed. He sighed tremendously before leaning on his dresser. 

He began by removing his top and placing it in the laundry basket. He didn't want to bother ironing his shirt since he never took his blazer off. 

Soon after, his tie was neatly around his neck and his pants were secured. He had his pullover in his hand, ready to put on when he heard shuffling. 

He looked over at his bed, seeing that Yuchan was shuffling rather violently on his bed. Little whimpers and grunts coming from his mouth as he seemed to be fighting something. 

Junhee set his pullover down, rushing to Yuchan's side. 

"Junhee~" Yuchan whimpered softly. His voice was timid and shaky, almost as if he were calling out to him. 

Junhee sat down gently, moving his hand up to Yuchan's head. He then began to softly stroke Yuchan's hair. The action seemed to calm his racing mind and put him at ease. 

' _What would you do without me?'_ Junhee thought, chuckling softly. He was always there when Yuchan's dreams got a little too much for him, always there to calm him down after he'd woken up from an especially bad nightmare. It pained him to even think about what would happen if he wasn't there to help him. 

Yuchan's eyes softly began to flutter open. He let out tiny whines and a small yawn, stretching his arms widely. 

"Good morning, sunshine," Junhee said jokingly, moving to get up from his bed. 

Yuchan groaned loudly before pushing his body up, seating himself upright. He rubbed his eyes heavily, continuing to yawn. 

Junhee’s heart warmed at the sight. Yuchan looked like a disheveled bunny. He looked so adorable with his hair messed up yet so fluffy. Junhee wanted to squeal like a little schoolgirl and pinch Yuchan's cheeks so hard that they bruised. He stood up from his spot and moved to finish getting ready. 

"What's going on?" Yuchan's deeper than normal morning voice broke the silence. 

"We're off to school, Chanshine," Junhee said, pulling his pullover over his head and securing it. 

"Oh," Yuchan blinked a few times. "Well shit, I should get ready." 

He got up from his spot, reaching for his bag which was placed next to the leg of Junhee’s desk. He then went to the bathroom, closing the door. 

It was only when Yuchan locked the door that Junhee realized that he hadn't taken a shower or anything. _I'm going to die anyway_. 

His body was overwhelmed by a sudden harsh pain in his chest. He silently ran out of the room, to his parents' bedroom to use their bathroom. With around 5 flowers coming out of him and almost a hundred petals, all drowned in blood, Junhee wasn't prepared to suffer this kind of death, looking through his parents' medicine cabinet for anything he could overdose on and call it a day. 

A few more minutes of water hitting tiles and splish-splashing in the shower water followed by a few extra minutes drying and putting clothes on and Yuchan was finished. It didn't take long for him to get dressed. He stepped out of the bathroom, steam followed shortly after him. He looked around the room, looking for Junhee. 

"Junhee?" Yuchan called out, moving to put his bag down on Junhee’s bed.

Junhee heard his call and quickly closed the cabinet doors, putting the light brown tub of capsules back. Yuchan's sweet voice calling his name snapped him out of the short-lived suicidal thoughts. He quickly wiped his mouth of the blood on a towel and went back to his room. 

"Yeah?" He cleared his throat, managing to fool Yuchan into thinking everything was okay. 

"Did you manage to get your suit for prom?" Yuchan seemed really excited about it. Not only was prom a special little event, it was even more special to him that Junhee would be going with him. 

Junhee couldn't tell him. He couldn't tell him that he wasn't able to go with him anymore. Maybe he could make up something, like his parents planned a holiday for that time period or his dad's uncle's best friend's son's neighbor's daughter was getting married and he had to be there for it. 

"I haven't yet," was what he settled on. It wasn't worrisome but it would definitely make Yuchan question why he didn't have one yet. 

Yuchan wanted to ask more but Junhee wasn't looking at him. That was unusual, Junhee always looked at Yuchan when he was talking. 

Junhee was fidgeting with his fingers. Junhee only ever did that when he wasn't sure if what he was saying was true. 

Yuchan had all the evidence that Junhee was lying to him yet chose to drop the subject. If he really wanted to talk about it, he would but it's obvious that he isn't ready, Yuchan thought. 

"Okay," Yuchan said, shrugging his shoulders. Junhee let out a sigh of relief. "It's time to go, I'll get you in the car." 

Junhee nodded and, with that, Yuchan was out the door. Junhee looked around the room, taking in every corner, every crack of his walls. The multiple posters of his favourite K-pop idols that he would never see the next comeback of, the only half explored map of Korea and the 9% of the world map he'd explored. 

All of his dreams were made in his room and they were to be discarded there too. He was definitely not going to return after school. He looked around, taking in every one of his achievements in life and reminded himself that he had nothing to regret. He'd lived the best life he could, even if it was over too soon. 

He took a deep sigh, grabbing his bag and placing it on his back. He turned and walked to his door, looking to his room one more time before closing the door. Now he was ready to die. 

**★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Within the week or next week, I'll put up the last one. But please prepare yourselves because Junhee’s going to die💔  
> Bye✨❤️


	6. Goodbye Pain and Suffering

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, the end!!  
> I refer to a song at the end, it's BTS's Butterfly if you want to know.  
> Thank you all for supporting this fic✨❤️

The ride to school was silent. Junhee didn't really feel like talking and the atmosphere didn't seem open to conversation for Yuchan. It didn't stop him from trying. 

"You know," Yuchan broke the silence since it saddened him to see Junhee so down, "my parents brought home some weird pink fruit that I've never heard of. Do you wanna try it with me after school?" 

Junhee gently shook his head, having to swallow the lump in his throat. He didn't even bother to look at Yuchan, focusing his attention out of the window. 

Yuchan sighed as they came to a red light." Junhee, I know something's wrong. "

Junhee sat completely frozen. ' _Did he find the flowers? Or the now pink sink? Or the letter?'_ Junhee's mind raced. 

"You've been acting so weird these past few days," Yuchan placed his hand on top of Junhee's. "You can talk to me about anything, you know that, I won't judge you." 

Junhee finally looked over at Yuchan. He was looking at him with such desperation but there was also something else in his eyes, something Junhee was too familiar with but couldn't seem to put his finger on. 

"I know," Junhee said softly. His heart was racing from the intense eye contact they were making and the lack of space between them. "I'll tell you later, okay?" 

Yuchan sighed a little harder but nodded regardless. "Okay." 

Junhee's guilt seemed to grow even more. He knew there wasn't going to be a later but it would save him the trouble of Yuchan's questions, which could never lie to him about. 

★★★★★★★★★★★★★

The first few lessons were when Junhee and Yuchan were separated. Junhee would have wanted to succumb to his disease between those few periods but it seemed that the universe didn't want it that way. 

The day seemed to slow down. People came up to Junhee suddenly, asking him if he was okay since he looked like personified death. During break, one of his friends felt his forehead and wouldn't stop fussing over how green he was looking. 

"No, I'm fine," he answered all of them, every single person that asked. He tried to smile at everyone but then the pain in his chest would amplify so he left all the smiling to Yuchan, who didn't seem to want to smile. 

English period came and Yuchan had to physically hold Junhee up as they walked to class. 

"Junhee, you should just go home, you're sick," Yuchan tried to convince him. 

"I'm okay, don't worry," Junhee's voice was soft and slightly hoarse from the stems growing into his throat. He had no way around this. 

Yuchan looked like he was going to cry. He didn't like Junhee forcing himself like this. He was prepared to leave school to take him home himself. 

"How can I not worry? Look at you," Yuchan's concern was evident, from his face to his voice. He helped Junhee to his seat and was now softly stroking his hair. 

Junhee's face finally cracked into a small smile as he moved his hand up to place on top of Yuchan's. "Sit down." 

Yuchan took the seat next to Junhee, not caring that it wasn't his. The owner of the seat was busy having a conversation with the teacher about the presentation. 

Junhee was about to chase Yuchan away as the owner was approaching their seat but Yuchan refused to move, wanting to be by his side. 

"Excuse me," the owner spoke up. "That's my seat." 

Yuchan looked up at the person with such a venomous stare that the owner quickly backed off and moved to a different seat. Everyone knew the sunshine ones were always the scariest so no one ever messed with Yuchan. 

The lesson had begun therefore the presentations began. Junhee had his head on the table, lying on his arms as Yuchan's hand was still on his head, stroking ever so softly. It made him feel a little better but it was also making him feel more guilty than he should. 

When the seventh person ended theirs and after the class applauded, the teacher called on Junhee. 

"Are you okay to go today?" She asked, noticing his physical condition. 

Junhee nodded slowly, preparing to get up only to be stopped by Yuchan. 

"No, he isn't, sit down," he instructed Junhee, about to drag him onto his seat. 

Junhee shook him off, softly patting Yuchan on the head as he made his way to the front. 

His powerpoint popped up onto the white board and the class murmured softly. 

"Nobody knows the origins of the Hanahaki disease but it's speculated to be of Japanese origin, since Hanahaki is a Japanese word," Junhee started off seemingly strong. All he was doing was avoiding Yuchan's hawk-like eye contact. 

One minute into his presentation, the strongest pain erupted in his chest. He was able to suppress his reaction, although his face twitched ever so slightly. He continued talking, showing the various flowers and what they may mean. 

And then it happened. 

His eyes grazed over the class and stopped at Yuchan's soft raven hair. He suddenly stopped mid sentence as his eyes met Yuchan's. Yuchan moved slightly up from his seat, holding himself back. 

Junhee felt his chest closing, liquid rising up his throat and with that he dashed out of the classroom. Yuchan worriedly followed, speeding after him only to see Junhee standing nearly four metres away from their classroom. 

To his horror, he looked at Junhee's feet, seeing nearly a dozen blood drenched sunflowers. 

"Junhee?" His voice was soft and cracking. 

Junhee turned around slowly, his mouth was covered in blood. Yuchan stepped back, holding his hand in front of his mouth in shock and disbelief. He dashed forward, just as Junhee's legs were about to give in. 

He made it in time to catch Junhee, even though both of them were on the floor with Yuchan holding Junhee in his arms. 

"No, Junhee, what is this?" He asked, not bothering to hold back his tears. "Why didn't you tell me? Why?" 

Junhee coughed a little, holding his blood covered hand in front of his mouth. "I didn't think it would end like this." 

"End? No it's not ending," Yuchan shook his head frantically as more tears streamed down his face. "Just tell me who it is. Tell me who it is and I'll make them love you."

Junhee wanted to laugh but only managed a small smile. 

"Junhee, stop smiling and tell me who it is!" Yuchan raised his voice. He was scared, too scared of losing Junhee that he started getting angry. 

"It won't help anything," Junhee's voice was getting softer. The flowers had taken over his chest cavity and was choking him slowly. 

"Yes it will! I won't lose you!" Yuchan cried out in misery. People had started coming out of their classes to see what the fuss was, gasping and making so much noise when they saw the scene. 

"Yuchan, listen," Junhee spoke up softly, stopping to turn over and cough up another flower. "I'm not going to make it af-" 

"Don't say that, you're going to be okay!" Yuchan didn't want it to be a reality. He was convinced Junhee could still be saved. 

"If we get to the hospital now, they can do the surgery on you and you'll live, you'll be okay!" Yuchan nodded as he spoke to try to stay positive. 

But Junhee was tired. Tired of lying to himself, tired of fighting the disease that he wouldn't let Yuchan save him even if he could be saved. Because then he'd lose his feelings for Yuchan or just the ability to feel love in general and he didn't want that. 

Junhee continued anyway. "In my dresser, there's a letter for my parents," he stopped to cough up a little more blood before going on, "and one for you." 

"And you can read it to me because you're going to be-" Yuchan kept trying. He wasn't accepting it. 

"Yuchan, please," Junhee let out a small tear. "I'm so sorry." 

Yuchan's heart began to ache as Junhee's bloodied hand came up to his face to caress his cheek. 

Yuchan couldn't speak anymore, not through all the tears. The tears began to fall onto Junhee's face. 

"Channie," Junhee's voice was starting to die down. "Do you think you could sing to me? One last time?" 

All the signs pointed to Tangled's Healing Incantation because maybe that could save Junhee. But he was way past saving. Nothing was going to help, not even carving into Junhee's chest and ripping the flowers out himself. 

Yuchan didn't think it would end this way, with him having to bawl out the lyrics of Butterfly since it was the only song he could think of. 

Junhee's eyes closed as he hummed softly. He held his breath as the flowers closed his wind pipe, taking away his ability to breathe. 

"I love you so much, Kang Yuchan," he managed to squeeze out. His face started turning blue as he was choked to death. 

Yuchan held on tightly until Junhee's last breath, feeling his body go limp in his hold. 

The hallway was silent, no one bothered to breathe. Yuchan's sudden wail of agony broke the silence as he held his deceased best friend. 

A teacher had come after calling the ambulance, coming to pry Yuchan away from Junhee but the second anyone stepped too close, Yuchan would scream. 

No one wanted to go near them as no one wanted two deaths in one day. The school left Yuchan to slowly rock himself and Junhee on the floor of the English hallway, blood covering them both. 

Paramedics had shown up and had to carry Yuchan with Junhee's body because of how glued to him he was. They took them both, seeing as Yuchan was on the verge of collapsing, either from the shock or the excessive crying and screaming. 

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Two weeks after that incident, Yuchan hadn't been at school since. He'd been in Junhee's bedroom since he was released from hospital. 

His funeral took place on the following weekend seeing as his parents still had to come home. They were just as devastated, wanting to know if Yuchan was okay, yet to their surprise, Yuchan had already been in their house for a few days. 

Yuchan didn't speak once after his death. His eyes stayed puffy and his face always seemed bloated and red. His bloodshot eyes were highlighted by the dark circles under his eyes. Terrible wasn't close to what Yuchan looked like. 

Yuchan sat at Junhee's desk where he had been staring at the sunflower on his window sill. It was slowly dying but no amount of water or sunlight could save it. 

Yuchan looked down, seeing one of the drawers were slightly opened and opened it further. 

There he saw it. _'To Kang Yuchan_ ' the envelope said in weird calligraphy that he didn't know Junhee could do. He'd forgotten about the letter, even though Junhee told him to read it. 

He opened it, seeing the first line and already hurting inside. His chest had been sore for a while now but of course it was the sadness and grief and not something life threatening. Or at least he thought. 

' _My dearest Chanshine_ ,' it read. Yuchan's heart sped up a little and he randomly started coughing. Something had come out of his mouth but he didn't take notice of it. It wasn't the first time. 

_'It does seem a little insensitive to make you find out through a letter but here goes._

_If you're reading this, it means I'm already gone. I wrote this letter to express my gratitude towards you for being the bestest friend I've ever had. We've been through so much together and it's unfortunate that I can't stay with you, to live our best lives together and so on.._

_I'm not sure how to really say this but after your soccer game, I developed this disease.'_

Yuchan stopped reading just to wipe his face of the tears he didn't even know were flowing and continued. 

' _I'd been wondering for a few weeks what or who could possibly be the cause of it. But it pains me to say that the person that I fell in love with was you, my dearest friend_.' 

Yuchan's heart dropped to his feet. His body had gone cold from that sentence. He set the letter down, putting his head into his hands. 

He should have known. He should have known that it was him. Junhee was acting suspicious towards him and he should have questioned it. He deserved the pain he was experiencing. He basically killed his best friend. 

He looked up from his hands and continued to read, even though he really didn't want to. 

' _I didn't want to ruin what we already had so I hid it from you. I hid it from everyone. I wanted us to stay best friends forever and I didn't want to ruin that just because I started liking you in a different way._

 _I'm sorry that I never got to go to prom with you but I hope you had fun without me._ ' 

Prom was last week and he was too depressed to go. He had completely forgotten about it until now. 

' _I'm sorry that I won't be able to be there when you get married and have kids and name your son after me. I'm sorry that we won't get to make more memories together, all because I was selfish.'_

Yuchan felt overwhelming sadness when he continued to read. He had his life planned out with Junhee by his side every step of the way and now his life was out of balance and nothing could fix it. 

_'I hope this letter helps you a little bit. I've already asked to be turned into a star so I can watch you grow into the best version of you you can be._

_I love you so much. I'll always be my best friend and maybe in another life, you'll return my feelings and be my love._

_Your best friend forever and every life after that,_

_Pa_ _rk Junhee♥'_

Yuchan closed the letter slowly before looking slightly further than the envelope. The thing that flew out of his mouth a few moments before. 

He reached out to it, grabbing it and letting it rest in the palm of his hand. 

He sighed before looking out of the window. 

"Park Junhee, if only you could see how much I love you too." 

He then looked back at the single red rose petal in his hand. It wasn't bright like it should've been because it was dead, like the person they were meant for. 

Yuchan smiled slightly as he looked at the petal, knowing that he may suffer but he'd get to be with his best friend again. 

💔

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry but thank you for reading this! It's over but I'm going to put up a prologue at some point.  
> Bye✨❤️


	7. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final final chapter lmao, it's finally over!!  
> There's mentions of being drugged as well as suicide so please be careful  
> ❤️

Every day for the next week, Yuchan’s life was more than hell. The amount of flowers coming out of him made him wish every five seconds that Junhee was around to take the pain away. On top of the excruciating pain in his chest lay the guilt on his heart for not realizing his feelings for Junhee sooner. 

Yuchan was still considerate towards Junhee’s parents, making sure not to leave a trail of dead rose petals everywhere he went. He considered mainly taking his life to escape the pain but ultimately decided that it was his fate. He didn’t reciprocate Junhee’s love; he killed Junhee and therefore had to pay with his own life. 

He was already such a disappointment to him for going against his wishes and not living happily. Normally murderers go on living like nothing ever happened but Yuchan was the kind of person that would feel terrible for causing even the smallest inconvenience and would think about it for at least five days before it randomly appears in his three am thoughts when he couldn’t sleep. 

Yuchan's pain was a lot worse than Junhee's was. It could have been because Junhee was already dead so he really couldn't be saved. Unless he got the surgery.. 

His parents tried to get through to him. He hadn't answered in weeks and they were beyond worried, having to live off updates from Junhee's parents. 

"Yuchan, your mom sent you something," Junhee's father spoke through the door. He didn't expect an answer; Yuchan never answered any of them. 

He sat the package down on the floor just in front of the door, knowing Yuchan had to come out at some point. 

Their parents had gotten together beforehand and discussed what to do with him. They were all worried, not knowing the reason behind Junhee's death. They just knew it was hanahaki from the autopsy having found dozens of blood covered sunflowers in his chest cavity with their stems growing firmly on his ribs. The autopsy wasn't really necessary considering the flower petals in his mouth when he had arrived at the hospital. It was dark and beautiful to look at.

Yuchan looked up at the window sill, seeing the deceased sunflower in its pot. The leaves had crisped up and fallen with the stems brown and wilted. He sighed softly as a small pain in his chest erupted. 

He clutched his chest as the pain grew stronger, groaning miserably as he made his way to the trashcan. The petals came tickling up his throat as tears formed in the corners of his eyes. He leaned over the can, throwing up a mix of wilted, off red petals and bright blood red ones. It could've been his own blood staining the petals to make them brighter but he didn't care. It hurt just as much as the dead ones. 

He coughed out a few whole roses, crying softly as blood trickled down his mouth. It was just so painful, he regretted not jumping in that random lake he saw. 

He wiped his mouth of the blood on the inside of his sleeve, getting up off his knees. He looked around the room for his car keys, deciding to get out of the house for something quick. 

He grabbed his keys, not bothering to put shoes or even a jacket on. Autumn was approaching but it was getting a little colder than it normally did. He didn't care, stepping over the package outside of the door and leaping outside into the cold. 

He shivered slightly as he got outside. His feet were being abused by the harsh tar and his arms clutching each other instinctively. He got into his car, not turning the heater on as he didn't seem to think he needed it. He drove off. 

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

He walked through the harsh grass that scratched against his legs. His pajama pants was a little flimsy as it was summer pajamas so the long grass was able to make its way through his pants leg. A few broken twigs and other natural sharp objects poked into his feet, as if cursing him for not wearing shoes. 

He stomped through the grass to his target position, a medium sized gravestone. It was in the middle of the meadow below a willow tree that's branches grew too crookedly to be beautiful anymore. This willow tree that grew on top of a once beautiful hill was Junhee's favourite spot. 

He never explicitly stated that he would want to be buried there but it was too beautiful that Yuchan thought it would be lovely for it to be his view forever. 

Yet after the funeral, the meadow's beauty seemed to fade. The grass grew longer and faster than normal, resulting in dry and scratchy light brown stalks. The willow tree drooped slightly over the grave as if the whole meadow was protecting his final resting place. 

Yuchan sat himself next to the gravestone, reading the epitaph. 

**'Here lies Park Junhee, a beautiful soul gone too soon, a heart broken and a star dimmed.'**

It caused a pang in Yuchan's chest every time he read it. He leaned his head on the gravestone as if leaning on Junhee's shoulder, looking at the small sunflowers blooming from the misplaced dirt. 

Yuchan smiled slightly, knowing that Junhee's love was still very much alive. He looked up at the sky, seeing the twinkling star he declared to be Junhee himself. 

"Don't worry, Junbear," Yuchan said softly, stroking the gravestone gently. "We'll be together soon."

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Yuchan's ride home was very painful. He'd stayed up on the hill for a few hours, talking non-stop about nothing. He missed talking to Junhee and had imagined that he was listening to him. He omitted all the dark and stupid stuff he'd been doing, telling him only about the funny stuff he'd read or the cute movies he'd watched. 

The grass was full of pointy wooden things that embedded themselves in Yuchan's feet, making his walk to the car much more painful than need be. 

He sat in the car, dangling his feet out of the door and dusting them off before closing the door. He stared at the road ahead, not wanting to go back home. He wanted to stay with Junhee forever, where he knew he would be safe and sound. He started the car and drove 'home'. 

On his way back to Junhee's room, he'd wondered if he was better off going back to Jeju. His parents would've wanted to move with him to the mainland but they couldn't leave their lives behind. They sent him to high school after having him complete middle school in Jeju, separating Junhee and Yuchan for a few years. 

Yuchan had felt inconsiderate for making his parents fly to the mainland for the funeral. But it was in no way inconvenient. His parents loved Junhee and it even hurt them to separate them for that time. 

It was a tough decision sending Yuchan to high school away from home but it brought him closer to his best friend and that was all he needed. 

Yuchan plopped himself on the bed, looking down at the floor after remembering something. The package, it wasn't there anymore. He gently shrugged it off before looking around the room. 

Something small and white sat on the desk in the room. It wasn't there before. It was releasing steam into the air. 

Yuchan got up slowly, moving towards the humidifier actively working. He took in a deep breath, only realizing then that the air was smelling a little funny. 

He suddenly felt a little woozy. His head began to spin and he couldn't seem to stand up straight. He leaned further into the humidifier as it released a cloud into his face ; a funny smelling cloud. 

He coughed a little before stumbling backwards. His vision was becoming blurry as he struggled to breathe. The humidifier was drugged, he was drugged. 

It didn't take long for the drug to take effect as he'd collapsed onto the floor, groaning softly. He was confused and partially afraid of what was happening to him but closed his eyes gently before he was knocked out. 

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

White. A pure white wall or ceiling was staring at him. A faint beeping sound came from the left side of his head. ' _Was this what heaven looked like?_ ' he thought.

He looked around, unable to move much from the faint pain and the excessive morphine injected into his system. He felt like he was on a high but not a good one. 

A white lab coat started moving towards him and Yuchan blinked a few times to clear his vision. Everything blurred up with every blink so it was partially useless. 

"Good morning, Yuchan," the owner of the lab coat spoke. "How are you feeling?" 

Yuchan was beyond confused. "F-fine," he said timidly. "Where am I?" 

"Asan Medical Centre," Mr Lab Coat answered. A pain in Yuchan's head erupted like an alarm, signaling something. It was no coincidence that he was in one of the best rated hospitals. Something very bad must have happened for his parents to do that. 

"Why? What am I doing here?" 

Mr Lab Coat sighed. It seemed to be a difficult job for him to just tell Yuchan why he was there. He looked down before looking back up at him. 

"Do you remember what happened before you woke up?" 

"I was sitting at home when a humidifier drugged me and I passed out," Yuchan simplified. 

He nodded. "So you know that you received a small package in the week.."

Yuchan nodded very slowly, half because of the drugs in his ass and half because of the suspicion within. 

"It was what was in the humidifier," Mr Lab Coat explained. "Your parents explained that you weren't very compliant nor did you want the surgery." 

Yuchan was too drugged to understand where he was going so looked at him with further confusion. 

"Your parents asked us to do the flower removal surgery on you but because you weren't compliant, we drugged you and brought you here."

Everything around Yuchan seemed to slow down in the realization. His flowers were removed, his way out of living and way into an eternal life with Junhee was gone. His punishment for being a murderer gone. 

Mr Lab Coat didn't see it fit to stay any longer and left shortly after. Yuchan sat in a daze as not a single puzzle piece came together in his head. All he knew was that he was no longer in love with Junhee, he could have a normal life and live happily. 

But even though the love was no longer there, the guilt seemed to build even more. He wasn't fit to live a normal life. That was something for people who didn't kill their best friends. He wasn't deserving of a normal life. He deserved to die, whether the flowers suffocated him to death or a car drove over him. 

His tearducts seemed to activate themselves as tears rolled down his face. He lifted his right arm to wipe his face off, seeing the tags on his arm and the IV drip lodged into a vein. He saddened even more, closing his eyes and falling back into a dreamless sleep. 

★★★★★★★★★★★★★

A few days after the surgery, Yuchan was free to be discharged. He hadn't spoke much since he had woken up but it didn't really worry his parents. They were just more than happy to have him alive and they were sure Junhee's parents would agree. 

After all the paperwork was complete, Yuchan was in the backseat of his father's car, staring out of the window. He was struggling to see the colour in the world and was really just searching for a reason to live. 

The drive was anything but quiet with the radio playing the news and the sounds of cars zooming past them on the highway. Their side of the road was stuck in traffic as the opposite side ran smoothly. 

The news was as boring as ever, talking about fires erupting and stocks, everything Yuchan couldn't care less about. 

His mother was rambling about some very interesting thing she found out about while visiting the mainland. His father was with her throughout the trip but still listened intently as if he knew Yuchan wasn't listening to her and didn't want her to feel bad. 

She struggled to make conversation with her once bubbly sunshine of a son who never needed a reason to speak to anyone and everyone. She missed his old self but was prepared to be there wherever his new self needed. Except his new self didn't want anyone or anything around. 

He had unbuckled his seatbelt, alerting his mother who had stopped talking. 

"Yuchan, what are you doing?" The fear in her voice is evident. She was close to trembling as he didn't answer.

He had opened the door, panicking her further. His father wasn't able to lock his door in time and seemed to struggle to take his seatbelt off. 

Yuchan closed the door behind him, ignoring the pleas and cries of his parents who just couldn't seem to break out of the car. He continued walking across the congested road, going towards the opposite side. Once he reached the dividers, he slowly climbed over it just as his parents managed to run out of the car after him. 

Yuchan was in a state beyond numb. His brain didn't seem to function at all as he took the step into the road. His only wish was to be with Junhee. Now it had to be by his own doing that he got his wish. 

He turned back to his parents who had stopped just by the dividers and were shouting and screaming for him to get out of the road. He smiled sweetly, that beautiful Yuchan smile that everyone loved before it all ended. 

"Yuchan!" His parents cried out from the dividers, still struggling to get over it. Their baby was gone, taken by a cream-coloured car driving just below the speed limit. The force of the car had knocked him so harshly onto the ground that he died instantly considering he'd just come from a major surgery. 

The driver lept out, telling the passengers to call the ambulance even though it was too late. He was already gone. 

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

Far off, in a small meadow on top of a hill lay two gravestones just below a thriving willow tree. The grass was supple and green as if it were fresh for pasture and was fit for walking on as it was soft under one's feet. 

' **Here lies Kang Yuchan, a sunshine blown, a flower wilted and a smile dimmed.'**

**'Here lies Park Junhee, a beautiful soul gone too soon, a heart broken and a star dimmed.'**

The two stones said with Junhee's grave lines with sunflowers and Yuchan's with bright red roses. 

The meadow seemed to thrive only days after Yuchan's funeral. His parents were beyond devastated, having watched their son commit suicide in front of them. Junhee's parents offered as much as support as they could for it was painful for them as well. 

The two lived their eternal lives together in top of the hill, where they could watch themselves as stars twinkle in the nightsky right next to the moon. Their souls spoke for hours under the willow tree where everything was just so calm, which was what they deserved after all they suffered. 

Neither could have asked for a better afterlife, yet it was a shame both had to die and cause so much heartache for their families just to be together. 

✨💔

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And now she's over!!  
> Thank you so much for supporting this and I'm sorry if this made you cry at some point but that was the point so thank you for having emotions lmao  
> Please look forward to any future works and thank you for sticking around❤️❤️  
> Love you guys, bye💕


End file.
